February 2012
4 posts
Wistfulness.
In every stranger’s face, I see yours. I wonder why, too. When the world seems so unpleasant, & when everything becomes blurry; in my lowest moments my thoughts somehow turn to you. I don’t know how this became a possibility. No reciprocation, no nothing - yet, I’m fine with it. Sort of like you’re the substance I’m trying so hard to find in this world. An...
Change.
The night sky doesn’t look the same anymore. The vast navy used to have so many stars scattered across it.
Looking back, I remember how I used to head out just to stare up at the sky, the moon, the stars … I would spend a long time admiring the beauty of it all. Never mind that I’d always be lost in thought. Just the mere fact that I’d be alone with the night sky was fine...
Quiet Poetic
This wasn’t how I imagined it would be.
After all, I didn’t desire anything more.
All my heart began to realize was simple;
that this never happened before.
I knew I was in for something difficult.
A definite challenge, definitely real.
She may give you things I simply cannot.
But she can never feel the way I feel.
Never mind - I don’t need to analyze.
It must be that...
Destructive. Desruption. Destined.
“Just this morning, things were great. I began my day with a positive outlook. I even told myself, ‘Today, nothing can & will faze me.’ I waited on the curb for a ride to work. I waited with the music in my head. Millions passing by, all blurry to me. I was well on my way, however I was a bit distracted. It must’ve been the song, but nonetheless my mind began spinning...
January 2012
25 posts
“I’ll think about you everyday. Part of me is scared that there will come a time...”
– Nicholas Sparks, Dear John (via simply-quotes)
“I would love to meet people that have their mind straight and don’t bring...”
– Anonymous
Persistence
“Sleep,” she whispered, as she closed her hand around his. “I’ll watch the moon, the stars, I’ll watch over you.” He regarded her with his sad, brown eyes. “I don’t know why you’re doing this,” he spoke slowly. “I don’t deserve what I can’t give back.”
She concealed the hurt that struck her as he spoke those...
Cat-string theory
Pandora’s box placed in clear view.
Bound by lock & key, yet in full display. The tireless, the hopeful … they search for hours on end. They scour through the clutter, all the places, to get a hold of the right key. Once, twice, a wrong key disappoints.
She has it. Dangling from a single strand of burnt gold around her neck, she seizes the key. Should she? They stare at her, as...
Distracted.
Steal.
A glance, a heart,
a world, a memory.
Hold.
A hand, a secret,
a gaze, a story.
Think.
Of sunsets, of waves,
Of letters, of books.
Remember.
A time, a place,
countless stolen looks.
Avoid.
Regret, mistake.
Tears, heart break.
Relive.
New days, new moons.
Sunrise, as you wake.
Release.
Hurt, sadness,
anguish, pain.
Forget.
The face, the words,
the feelings, the name.
Somewhere lies a haiku.
“I could write, & I’d do it well without stopping;
simply because it would give me something to do.
He could take me places & make me laugh;
but I’d still be wishing he was you.
I could go somewhere far, far away.
I could toss aside every other memory.
I could, you know, if I really wanted to.
but you’re all these eyes choose to see.
I will always be...
Dedication
.
Swayed by sweet words, whisked away by whispers. Rocked by that familiar song, & an even more familiar touch. A downfall, a drug, a weakness.
It’s like liquor. Sitting in a glass, stared at intently. Held gingerly toward one’s mouth, slowly brought closer. As it’s rim touches my lips, I take a cautious sip. The warmth, the strength, it slides down my throat. A burning...
Persuasion.
In a sea of distress
In a manic-depressive state
In a secret world of chaos
In a battle of love & hate
I will take your hand & fight the horrific scene.
I will hold you near & shield you from the endless bad dream.
In a road of shattered hopes
In a room filled with darkness
In a place full of abandonment
In a valley of utter madness
I will stand before the car crash &...
Untold.
Imagine how she felt the first time she saw him.
He was just another guy, going about, doing the usual everyday things. She was not your average girl, but she’d been looped into categories & looped into stereotypes constantly by those around her. She knew she wasn’t supposed to care, but deep down she did. She constantly longed for acceptance - the kind that was good for her...
Rhyme
Your heart breaks a little every time.
His eyes glance over when you’re not aware.
Your hands shake a little at his nearness.
His head turns a little, to see you standing there.
You pretend you’re unaffected.
He’s mastered the move so well.
You turn your back in defiance.
He sees you, he knows, & he can tell.
You walk past him, barely looking.
He notices, but he...
Suliranin.
“You perplex me. You leave me speechless, like nobody ever did. I have never felt so at loss for words, so tongue-tied. I cannot fathom how or why. You are the most complex person I have ever stumbled upon in this lifetime. How is it possible that you leave me inspired & uninspired all at once? It’s the irony of your being. It’s you. The way you are that I find myself so...
Fate.
To be tangled up in somebody’s arms
To be lost in a world of stolen kisses
To be safe in the presence of that soul
To be filled with dreams & wishes
To seek comfort in one’s smile
To seek protection in a hug
To seek security in a hand to hold
To seek happiness with every heartstring’s tug
To love one’s words so beautiful
To love the feeling of enchantment
To...
Per Diem.
Question without apologies
Cry without ceasing
Scream without hesitation
Dive with no fear of drowning.
Dream without limit
Smile without permission
Imagine without approval
Run without exhaustion.
Read without analyzing
Write without restriction
Sleep without fear
Fall without protection.
Hurt without anger
Stare without direction
Talk without understanding
Wonder without...
Her preference.
She finds herself drawn to boys with beautiful brown eyes. The boys who can make her laugh with awkward comments & random jokes. She doesn’t fall for popular boys; she finds no appeal in them. She doesn’t go for confident boys, either. She ends up getting attached to the boys who don’t always know what to say. Boys who listen to the type of music she appreciates, those who...
History repeats itself.
Why are we always prone to attachments? We know full well how difficult it is to detach ourselves from what we know is unthinkable, what simply can’t be done … Yet, we allow ourselves to be held, held in a sense that somebody holds power over us. It’s like some sort of surrender. Like a white flag being waved without any hesitations. We must secretly adore the feeling, that much...
Year ender.
This year has been full of surprises. Good ones, not so good ones, & downright bad ones. I won’t write to complain, because as cliche as it may sound - I have learned immensely from all that happened. I’d like to think that I did a lot of growing up. I may not be as mature & level-headed as other people, but I somehow allowed my heart to be put in the right place by God. Gone...
December 2011
3 posts
Persistence
A cigarette to calm the nerves, to kill slowly. Like a villain, stealthy & devious. A thief in the night, swift, unnoticed. Like a shooting star only a few are lucky to come across. Like a poem difficult to comprehend, disguised with such beautiful words. Like still waters, your thoughts flow & run deep. A cup of coffee, comforting, warm, but with a dose too much that gets a heart ...
Those nights
“We’re like children with all these games we play. Reckless, heedless, mindless, unguarded. With those clever words, all the harmful things we say - the most awful of things, nonetheless rewarded. The flames we dance in front of with the sparks so inviting the eyes we hypnotize with our stares so enticing. The hearts we trap, supposedly for safe keeping are the very hearts that...
October 2011
2 posts
8:06
All I’m saying is..
If you’ve ever felt at loss, find comfort in the laughter of your friends.
If you still feel that ache in your chest, go have a heart to heart conversation with somebody you don’t usually converse with.
If you feel like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, take a minute to pray and give it all to God.
If seeing a photograph,...
Nauubos.
I know how frail people really are. It’s difficult to face the truth, that there are instances where we all lose. I used to scoff at people who wallow in their frustrations & allow themselves to drown in their sorrows. Now I owe apologies to those I’ve dismissed as dramatic & pessimistic. Because now, it’s my turn. This part of life knocked me down. I never knew it was...
August 2011
2 posts
Pensive.
I find that I am filled with jumbled up thoughts & countless questions. My incessant thinking & over-analyzing could very well be the death of me, because what spills out somehow eats me on the inside, slowly. Pardon the clutter of words & phrases.
I want to forget, but could it also be that all I want is to secretly remember? Everything was surreptitious. I was ignorant. Life would...
Beautiful things.
Unprepared. That is how I always am. I seem to be caught unguarded every moment, every crucial moment. Perhaps it is a good thing. After all, spontaneity is what makes life beautiful. It is what I believe makes the world interesting. No amount of caution can shield me from such blows. Despite psyching myself out, I always end up speechless. If thoughts could be heard, then my thoughts would be...
July 2011
8 posts
Days & Pages.
She walked the earth, content in solitude; blissfully ignorant. Her life was planned out. Or so, she thought. Nothing could surprise her, until that fateful day - that day destiny decided to sprinkle her & an oblivious individual with beautiful chaos.
It didn’t strike her down in an instant. The thoughts, the inklings, they were subtle. Her ability to dismiss such foolishness was...
Whatever it may be.
A toast to those who
- have had their defining moments of clarity.
- finally fought the demons in their lives.
- overcame their fears & stepped forward.
- walked along without a final glance at the car crash.
- came clean & owned up to their pack of lies.
- broke down & rose from the turmoil.
- wiped away tears & broke into a smile; the kind of smile that comes from...
Fire left burning.
Whenever I wake up to silence & begin my day slowly, I cannot fathom once more why my thoughts betray me. With every ounce of resilience I push them away & busy myself, hoping that this is the “someday” I’ve been anticipating - the “someday I’ll be renewed & impassive”; finally. But, sadly, no. Because if it’s not yet time, no amount of...
Here, & not there.
Is there a need to look further, or is it all in front of me but I’m looking at it the wrong way? I wonder why questions were invented. For us to kill ourselves mulling about the answers late every night? For us to pattern our lives after everything’s been left unanswered? I want a road going somewhere definite, yet I crave for mystery - a path filled with new wonders, with the...
June 2011
1 post
May 2011
6 posts
believing.
It gets difficult after awhile. I think I know how it feels now: what it’s like to suffocate. And I don’t want to be a hypocrite, because I know I’ve had my share of faults. Now it’s a different story. I wish that with one snap, this would all disappear .. or I’d find myself waking up from a horrible dream. Because now, I don’t know what to make of this....