In every stranger’s face, I see yours. I wonder why, too. When the world seems so unpleasant, & when everything becomes blurry; in my lowest moments my thoughts somehow turn to you. I don’t know how this became a possibility. No reciprocation, no nothing - yet, I’m fine with it. Sort of like you’re the substance I’m trying so hard to find in this world. An unreachable one at that. It’s something so great, something that came over me, & it’s as if it’ll never go away. To tell you honestly, I don’t want it to go away — this feeling. No matter how frustrating, no matter how bitter, it’s become an addiction. Something I wish would stay. Something that might suddenly turn things around & allow me to see the beauty of everything like I never have, before.

If I could speak about this to you now:

Awhile ago I was riding a cab on my way to work, & the cab driver starts talking to his wife on his cellphone. They sounded so sweet & so in love. When he hung up, I couldn’t help but remark on how happy they seemed. The cab driver nonchalantly says he found her after fifteen years, that he used to go to school with her. I was amazed. & as if that wasn’t enough, he says, “Naniniwala ‘ho kasi ako sa tadhana.”

You see, everywhere I go, there are all these signs. Everywhere I go, everything I see, somehow leads my thoughts, & my heart, right back to you.

This is like a journey with no end, yet I continue.

So once more I conclude this chaos with “I wish you the best,” because … That’s all I’m willed to do for now. Time was never on my side, but that’ll do. You do deserve the best. Because for me, you sort of are.